Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

New picture….real update soon…

April 29, 2009

Ben, Cory and Me



April 2, 2009


My Mom passed away Mar 15, 2009, she was 56 years old. It was not expected although she was “sick”. So, I’ve been avoiding writing when I just got back into writing. But I think I can write about it now.
My Mom had been “sick” for some time. I’ll start from the beginning…as she and I had both looked at it. When I was 18 Mom went to a new Dr. who immediately noticed something wrong with her heart. She’d had a heart murmur since birth but no Dr ever mentioned it would cause any Serious issues. She was scheduled for open heart surgery within two weeks of that Dr appt. They removed her mitral valve and replaced it with her pulmonary valve and then they placed a “donor” valve where her pulmonary valve was. It was a newer procedure by a Dr here in STL at BJ Hospital.
Ever heard about people receiving donor organs and then coming out of surgery a different person? That was my Mom…and she knew she was different.
We grew up with my Mom paying the bills the day they came in the mail (if we had the money) and paying off her credit card bill every month. She saved for a trip to Maui without my Dad even knowing before. She was so careful with her money…
As soon as my Mom was able to get out of the house after the first surgery, we went shopping at the Mall. I remember pushing her around in her wheelchair. I don’t remember how much we spent…but we also bought a new car that day…yes, a new car….that day! Her other car was a stick shift and she figured she’d be able to drive again faster if she had an automatic…so we bought one.
She continued to spend a lot…
It seemed pretty immediate that she started having knee pains of some sort…although they seemed like nerve pains that also hurt her knee. The Dr gave her a partial knee replacement. Her knee was never the same.
6-12 months later she was experiencing severe endometriosis and had to have surgery. During surgery, the Dr performed a hysterectomy.
Okay, so not only had that first heart surgery changed her personality, not just her spending habits, she was a different person, I called the other person Maude. Maude wasn’t as wonderful as my Mom…
I think it was just all of the constant pain she experienced that made her an angry person. But sometimes my Mom came back. And I can say without hesitation that there was no nicer person than my Mom. She was an amazing mother and friend. She would help anyone, give them the shirt off of her back…I’m serious….you just don’t understand what a wonderful person she was. I didn’t have those irritating teenage years with her…thats how wonderful.
But all of these surgeries…and my brothers issues too….just changed her…and she was so miserable and in pain.
She had to have open heart surgery again about 6 or so years ago. And this time, they replaced that funky Leaking! valve with a mechanical valve. So my Mom ticked….if you listened very, very closely…I had to lay by her. And this completely freaked her out…as you can imagine. And she didn’t want to have that second heart surgery…she knew the first one had started the decline in her health. Before all of this she worked out 3-4 days a week and like I said, was so happy and wonderful.
Things seemed to continue downward…She had pains no one could diagnose and she went to more than a few new doctors. They finally diagnosed her with fibromyalgia and congestive heart failure. She and my Dad moved to Atlanta for a few years for his job and things only got worse there.
They moved back around here a year ago to be closer to her parents (My grandma is in a nursing home and my grandpa is 88 years old and thinks he’s 25).
And, in the last month or so…things got worse…she was having almost constant chest pains and other pains too. She could not walk without a walker. She couldn’t sleep….or sometimes she slept for days.
She was miserable…and told me so. She was not afraid of dying. She was so tired of not knowing what was wrong and not getting the care she deserved. And I guess….a few days before she died things got worse but she refused to see anyone…I think she knew….she was at that point having some stomach issues too…and was scheduled for an MRI…but died before it could happen. She didn’t want another heart surgery. I know that for sure. Apparently, during heart surgery, they wrangle you around quite a bit, you know, with having to break open the rig cage and all…and I’ve heard that it can cause nerve damage also by being in a weird position for so long. So she knew she just couldn’t go through that….no matter how much I begged her.
My Dad went in to check on her Sunday morning b/c she had been completely out of it the day before (talking to dead relatives, and other things). And he found her, on the floor next to the bed, covered up with a pillow under her head. Her eyes were open. That gets me, you know, I pray that something during her death caused them to open and that she didn’t die while she was laying there awake…I really, really hope she was asleep. 😦 The cause of death, congestive heart failure, they didn’t do an autopsy.
And that’s all I can say right now. This was harder than I thought it would be.

Late night at work

March 10, 2009

So I’m working late tonight to train some guys in my department. And with it being later in the day I have no appts to keep me running around and I’m sitting pretty in the “what do I need to get done” department. So I have time to update, and not just read everyone else’s updates;).
Took the fam to Lottawatta Creek last night… They have gigantic portions! I couldn’t have even eaten one of the kids meals! I had a Fried Pickle Ultimate Cheeseburger and ate a little over a quarter of it…It was ginormous! I honestly thought it was going to come back up during the last couple of bites…lol
Boring update, yes, but I’ll update later after I eat dinner:)

Gone again

March 4, 2009

Honey’s gone again…Kansas this time.
I’m very unmotivated today but I just made myself get up and clean a bit. I also made Big D clean out the chinchilla cage. I told him he can’t ever complain about cleaning b/c he has a cell phone that we are paying for. Right now he’s organizing the Wii cabinet b/c its so messy and no one puts the games and controllers back when they’re done.
I’m going to get on the treadmill and watch an episode of whatever’s recorded on the DVR downstairs. And then, a bath and some reading…Laundry can wait!


February 6, 2009


Work has been absolutely insane lately…and I’m exhausted in the evening…so no time to chat…but I will post a pic of my Ben.

Crazy busy

January 28, 2009

I’ve been crazy busy lately between school and work and the kids school-work. I even stayed home yesterday b/c of the snow and worked from 7:45 am until 4:45 pm…at home…
I’m really stressed out lately…I’m having problems with “my” oldest. He’s always kinda had that ungrateful attitude…however, he’s still an awesome kid…it’s just when it comes to holidays, birthday, vacations…it seems like nothing is ever enough…but I deal with it b/c he’s such an awesome kid anyway…very mature for his age. He’s also appeared to deal with everything very well too…you know, glass is half full type of kid. Well, I think between the marriage in May and the adoption this January…he’s just having a hard time digesting it all…atleast that’s what I’m hoping it is…I don’t want this to be his teenage years. It’s very, extremely difficult with him right now…it’s too hard to even explain in detail. Basically he is going from being very sweet to very difficult, then he is downright mean to me…and then he breaks down crying. He says he’s upset about the divorce (his Dad and I divorced over 5 years ago)….and I think he’s just now the age where this is all beginning to bother him. I’m getting him into counseling…and hopefully we (and his Dad) can all go and help him through this…b/c I just can’t stress what an awesome kid he is….and I keep remembering what a wonderful little boy he was and what a wonderful student he’s been…and some of his grades are slipping now too…and I just think it’s all about the past year’s events, etc…
Gotta go to a meeting…

Kayleigh Freeman

January 22, 2009

Hello world!

January 13, 2009

Welcome to MY world! I had a blog on Journalspace…and then they had a catastrophe…so I’m starting out new….it may take some time…but I’ll learn this new site soon:)